There are some lessons I don't learn.
In my last post I discussed a man in uniform who had nothing to offer in the bedroom aside from whatever I could manage to make up in my mind.
That didn’t deter me from finding a new man who wore a uniform for a living.
We met up at the bar and he was cute. Not hot, just ridiculously cute. Finding out he wore a uniform for a living had its usual effect; I was instantly attracted to him. I don’t know how many drinks into our night we discovered we both had a love for the green (and I don’t mean money), but it became clear we had to enjoy this together. COoper opened doors. And not just the door to the bar…the car door too. Talk about impressive.
Eventually we ended up at his house and wearing our green sweaters.
Realizing I was entirely too messed up to attempt to drive home right then, he suggested we crash in his bed for a little while. I was asleep in like ten minutes. The nervousness cute boys instill never ceases to amaze me and my coping mechanism is always to drink too much. Someday I’ll learn, I swear.
After sleeping off my drunkenness, we started talking and, eventually, started messing around. In a lame attempt to change my ways, I told him if we had sex and it wasn’t phenomenal, I’d lose interest and he wouldn’t hear from me again. (If only I could keep my promises…but that story comes later). I held him off for quite a while. Having never had much self-restraint in this department, it only takes a bit of time for an attractive guy to succeed. Some people consider this to be promiscuous, I consider these people to be miserable in their sexual exploits. Anyways…
Whatever sex wasn’t with Raza, it was with COoper. How COoper managed to be rougher than Raz with only a tenth of his experience and half his size, I will never know. It was quick. There wasn’t much foreplay but the sex was hot as hell. Luckily for him, he heard from me again.
When you just grab a few drinks too many and bang someone, there isn’t much time to decide if you’re more than physically compatible. Perhaps that was a mistake. Perhaps seeing him a second and third time were the real mistakes.
The third time we hung out, the sex was quick but enjoyable as usual. What wasn’t usual is what he asked me after the sex was over.
“You voted for Obama didn’t you?”
Who the fuck wants to discuss politics after sex? Knowing COoper had done a few stints in the military and now did what he did for a living, I knew we saw things very, very, very differently. I told him I didn’t think that was something we needed to discuss but he pressed on… "So you did vote for Obama?”
There are certain things you don’t get me talking about or else you’ll seriously regret it, no matter whether our opinions align. Unfortunately for COoper, our opinions couldn’t have been more opposite. After stating Bush had secured a place in heaven and Obama was the anti-Christ, COoper went on to call me un-American and stupid!
I got out of bed, put my clothes on and walked out of his house. I haven’t heard from him since.
finish.
And at the end of the day, we still have a black president. :)
Friday, November 28, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Raza
I got this job over the summer – one which requires me to be a little discreet in the interest of myself and the man I am about to discuss. All I can say is we wore uniforms.
It was a miserable job. The people I worked with (mostly men) were assholes who never trusted me not to get my ass kicked while out on my own. They were idiots for the most part who had no clue how to treat people with respect and never had much cooperation in light of this. There was one though…whether Raza was really always flirting with me at work is not relevant as he has managed to end up in this blog regardless. I spent a lot of time report writing for this job as I was new and so did he because he was ridiculously good at what he did. This gave me a million opportunities to bug the fuck out of him with my rookie questions which usually resulted in him giving me a hard time and me thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.
I honestly cannot say, after I lost my job, that I expected to ever see any of the people I worked with ever again, unless by accident. Before I moved back home, I found myself at a bar I would never have gone to had I not been in the area seeing the new Batman movie. The cowboy bar next door was open and convenient so I stopped in for a few cold ones.
To my surprise, Raza and one of our other coworkers were there. When I approached them, they almost didn’t recognize me. I was pretty flattered because I knew it was a compliment…that uniform does nothing for a figure and having your hair pulled back and no makeup on is rarely a good look for any girl. A few drinks later, I was telling Raza what my “lifelong goal” was and he was telling me he was happy to oblige. I didn’t have the means to satisfy this goal, nor did I know anyone who could assist me so that was quickly dismissed (all I can say is it involves oral sex, weed, and someone in his position).
What wasn’t dismissed, however, was the offer to meet up after the bar. He couldn’t come back with me directly as my roommates and the guy he was with still worked at my former place of employment. We had to make sure the coast was clear so neither of us would be seen together.
I went home and started drinking heavily, awaiting his arrival. I’m not sure I could have been drunk enough for what ensued…
For the last two months, I had spent a decent portion of my time (both at work and off), thinking about how fabulously hot sex with Raza would be. Aside from the fact our job in and of itself was attractive, I had seen him do some pretty impressive and tough things. He was probably one of the most respected guys there and was recognized regularly for his kick ass work (or ass kicking work, whichever). The buildup in my head was enough for me to be pretty forward with him at the bar so, clearly, I was into him.
The sex was miserable. So miserable that I can’t even tell you much about it a few months later. I’ve conveniently forgotten the details and written off every other guy who holds this job. The crazy part is: we’re still in touch with one another. I’m over 500 miles away and I still hear from him pretty regularly. I don’t know what his motivation is…
But I still have a lifelong mission to accomplish.
to be finished at a later date. ;)
It was a miserable job. The people I worked with (mostly men) were assholes who never trusted me not to get my ass kicked while out on my own. They were idiots for the most part who had no clue how to treat people with respect and never had much cooperation in light of this. There was one though…whether Raza was really always flirting with me at work is not relevant as he has managed to end up in this blog regardless. I spent a lot of time report writing for this job as I was new and so did he because he was ridiculously good at what he did. This gave me a million opportunities to bug the fuck out of him with my rookie questions which usually resulted in him giving me a hard time and me thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.
I honestly cannot say, after I lost my job, that I expected to ever see any of the people I worked with ever again, unless by accident. Before I moved back home, I found myself at a bar I would never have gone to had I not been in the area seeing the new Batman movie. The cowboy bar next door was open and convenient so I stopped in for a few cold ones.
To my surprise, Raza and one of our other coworkers were there. When I approached them, they almost didn’t recognize me. I was pretty flattered because I knew it was a compliment…that uniform does nothing for a figure and having your hair pulled back and no makeup on is rarely a good look for any girl. A few drinks later, I was telling Raza what my “lifelong goal” was and he was telling me he was happy to oblige. I didn’t have the means to satisfy this goal, nor did I know anyone who could assist me so that was quickly dismissed (all I can say is it involves oral sex, weed, and someone in his position).
What wasn’t dismissed, however, was the offer to meet up after the bar. He couldn’t come back with me directly as my roommates and the guy he was with still worked at my former place of employment. We had to make sure the coast was clear so neither of us would be seen together.
I went home and started drinking heavily, awaiting his arrival. I’m not sure I could have been drunk enough for what ensued…
For the last two months, I had spent a decent portion of my time (both at work and off), thinking about how fabulously hot sex with Raza would be. Aside from the fact our job in and of itself was attractive, I had seen him do some pretty impressive and tough things. He was probably one of the most respected guys there and was recognized regularly for his kick ass work (or ass kicking work, whichever). The buildup in my head was enough for me to be pretty forward with him at the bar so, clearly, I was into him.
The sex was miserable. So miserable that I can’t even tell you much about it a few months later. I’ve conveniently forgotten the details and written off every other guy who holds this job. The crazy part is: we’re still in touch with one another. I’m over 500 miles away and I still hear from him pretty regularly. I don’t know what his motivation is…
But I still have a lifelong mission to accomplish.
to be finished at a later date. ;)
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Indy Boy
This one was as gorgeous as I'd imagined. And even more fun than I'd thought possible. You know, usually those good looking types are dumb, dull, disinterested...some other undesirable d-adjective. Not this one. We went out and about for a few months before things went unfortunately sour.
Those few months were a bit of an up and down for me. He was from out of state so I was usually something to keep him entertained when work brought him to the area. I would love to brag about him coming to pick me up in a suit and tie...that his business career was what kept him traveling between two cities all week but that's a lie. His profession was equally attractive I suppose though -- a construction worker of some sort.
I should note the fact I don't really know what he does/did is indicative of our relationship in general. I knew nothing about his life or situation outside of the way it appeared when we were hanging out. It was kinda nice not to have to worry about getting all personal and concerned with each other's lives. Some people find this particularly unsavory, being involved with someone you do not know very well. I, however, find it particularly convenient. He was who he said he was when he was in town. For all I knew/cared, he had a wife and kids back home. So long as the Mrs. never showed up on my doorstep demanding answers, I wasn't particularly concerned.
The first time we got down to it, I was absolutely smashed. It was a horrible idea to get this drunk and attempt to have sex with someone for the first time. Luckily, I think we were both about equally wasted so perhaps he doesn't remember the horrific events that took place that night. Whatever happened though must not have been enough to deter him though...as I said, we went out for a few months.
The next memorable moment in our sex lives was the night we decided to utilize the balcony I enjoy which overlooks the city. It was a wee bit cold but, as usual with this man, the alcohol did some good and allowed me to forget about the chilly weather. One of my sexiest moments happened that night. In my excitement to be railed over the rail of my balcony, I opened the glass door and failed to notice the screen door. Nothing is hotter than running into a screen door full force while completely naked. Luckily for me, he found this more entertaining than disgusting and the balcony scene went swimmingly.
The last time we got down to it, I was absolutely smashed again. It was a horrible idea to get this drunk and attempt to have sex with someone who I hadn't had sex with for quite some time (maybe a month or so). Between our final meeting and the time before that, I had managed to begin seeing someone else somewhat seriously so seeing this other man was a bit of a bad decision, to say the least. Not only did Indy catch on to the fact something was wrong with me (I probably wasn't as into it as usual) but he performed so horribly I never wanted to see him again. During the 30 minutes I allowed him flounder miserably, he asked to put it in my ass at least 3 times. The last time I said "I think you should just leave."
So I kicked a drunk man out of bed...it's not the worst thing a girl's ever done.
In a week or two, he informed me his work would no longer bring him to my neck of the woods. Although I was somewhat bummed to hear this, based on our last night together, it was undoubtedly for the best.
finish. or perhaps not in this case. ;)
Those few months were a bit of an up and down for me. He was from out of state so I was usually something to keep him entertained when work brought him to the area. I would love to brag about him coming to pick me up in a suit and tie...that his business career was what kept him traveling between two cities all week but that's a lie. His profession was equally attractive I suppose though -- a construction worker of some sort.
I should note the fact I don't really know what he does/did is indicative of our relationship in general. I knew nothing about his life or situation outside of the way it appeared when we were hanging out. It was kinda nice not to have to worry about getting all personal and concerned with each other's lives. Some people find this particularly unsavory, being involved with someone you do not know very well. I, however, find it particularly convenient. He was who he said he was when he was in town. For all I knew/cared, he had a wife and kids back home. So long as the Mrs. never showed up on my doorstep demanding answers, I wasn't particularly concerned.
The first time we got down to it, I was absolutely smashed. It was a horrible idea to get this drunk and attempt to have sex with someone for the first time. Luckily, I think we were both about equally wasted so perhaps he doesn't remember the horrific events that took place that night. Whatever happened though must not have been enough to deter him though...as I said, we went out for a few months.
The next memorable moment in our sex lives was the night we decided to utilize the balcony I enjoy which overlooks the city. It was a wee bit cold but, as usual with this man, the alcohol did some good and allowed me to forget about the chilly weather. One of my sexiest moments happened that night. In my excitement to be railed over the rail of my balcony, I opened the glass door and failed to notice the screen door. Nothing is hotter than running into a screen door full force while completely naked. Luckily for me, he found this more entertaining than disgusting and the balcony scene went swimmingly.
The last time we got down to it, I was absolutely smashed again. It was a horrible idea to get this drunk and attempt to have sex with someone who I hadn't had sex with for quite some time (maybe a month or so). Between our final meeting and the time before that, I had managed to begin seeing someone else somewhat seriously so seeing this other man was a bit of a bad decision, to say the least. Not only did Indy catch on to the fact something was wrong with me (I probably wasn't as into it as usual) but he performed so horribly I never wanted to see him again. During the 30 minutes I allowed him flounder miserably, he asked to put it in my ass at least 3 times. The last time I said "I think you should just leave."
So I kicked a drunk man out of bed...it's not the worst thing a girl's ever done.
In a week or two, he informed me his work would no longer bring him to my neck of the woods. Although I was somewhat bummed to hear this, based on our last night together, it was undoubtedly for the best.
finish. or perhaps not in this case. ;)
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